Newspaper articles on internet dating
This is the age of DIY-everything, in which individuals are charged with the full-service construction of their careers, lives, faiths, and public identities.When in the 1840s the Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard called anxiety “the dizziness of freedom,” he wasn’t slamming the door on modernity so much as foreseeing its existential contradiction: All the forces of maximal freedom are also forces of anxiety, because anybody who feels obligated to select the ingredients of a perfect life from an infinite menu of options may feel lost in the infinitude. Our friends and moms were underserving us.”Historically, the “underserving” was most severe for single gay people.(Read: The 5 years that changed dating I figured my Twitter audience—entirely online, disproportionately young, and intimately familiar with dating sites—would accept the inevitability of online matchmaking.But the most common responses to my post were not hearty cheers.We seek “spiritual, intellectual, social, as well as sexual soul mates,” the sociologist Jessica Carbino told podcast.She said she regarded this self-imposed ambition as “absolutely unreasonable.”If the journey toward coupling is more formidable than it used to be, it’s also more lonesome.
The rapid adoption of online dating among the LGBTQ community speaks to a deeper truth about the internet: It’s most powerful (for better and for worse) as a tool for helping minorities of all stripes—political, social, cultural, sexual—find one another.But to be free of those old crutches can be both exhilarating and exhausting.As the influence of friends and family has melted away, the burden of finding a partner has been swallowed whole by the individual—at the very moment that expectations of our partners are skyrocketing.“Anybody looking for something hard to find is advantaged by the bigger choice set.That’s true whether you’re looking for a Jewish person in a mostly Christian area; or a gay person in a mostly straight area; or a vegan, mountain-climbing former Catholic anywhere,” Rosenfeld said.